Four Things I Wish I Knew About Being an Expectant Mother and an Advisor

You’re pregnant, take it easy. Now is not the time to worry about your job. Come on, what are we mothers supposed to do – sit there all day and watch Maury Povich while we go into debt just in time to bring a dependent child into the world?

Please.

We women should experience 100% equality in the workforce at all times – and pregnancy is no exception.

No pregnant woman should have to face the stress of worrying about people thinking less of her; she is just as capable of the work with or without a child. It would be one thing if I were working in a physically demanding trade, such as a construction worker, lumberjack or a professional dancer. We’re talking about financial advising here, not about putting roofs on houses or chopping down trees.

To tell or not to tell…

In my first pregnancy, in the very beginning, I was scared people would judge me. However one day I woke up and realized that it was no use hiding it because inevitably the fact would become obvious. If I hid it from people, once my bump was showing people would feel misled.

They’d probably ask themselves what else I was hiding.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that people respected my candor. My pregnancy was only an issue in one case, but I really wasn’t crazy about that opportunity anyways. If I had been the right fit, I doubt it even would have mattered.

I successfully got a great job offer during one of my pregnancies, and when I was an advisor I sold life insurance when I was pregnant, in some cases to other pregnant women and in many cases to other mothers.

2. Maternity leave is a major disruption

Being a business owner, my maternity leaves were always short. My first one was two weeks long (I had a C-Section), my second was one week and my third was four days.

Now, bear in mind a few things. I’m extremely internet-focused and was accustomed to working remotely so it wasn’t like I was trekking off to get on the subway every day. I am an easily bored person and after the first child, it became obvious that I’m extremely unhappy with nothing to do other than nurse, eat, talk baby googoo gaagaa, and sit in the rocking chair all day with a million relatives clucking around (most namely my mother-in-law.)

Save me, please!

Consider a few things:

• You don’t have to go back to work full swing. As long as you frame expectations correctly, it can be wonderful to have the option to work from home.

• Make it clear that everything is on a best efforts basis and you can’t make any guarantees.

• Become a master of prioritization. I attended to any emergency client requests or any leads that came in, as those are the most time-sensitive. If things could wait, they did.

• Fill up your calendar three months in advance of when you’ll be done with maternity leave if you do decide to go the full-time route. Don’t just put it off and say you’ll catch up later. Get a time on the calendar so that when you come back you don’t have to start from a total standstill.

I found that people were awestruck, looking at me as if I were She-Ra Princess of Power, for my ability to work so quickly after giving birth.

I also found that it was great to work right up until the day I delivered. The times I waited for labor to start were when I drove myself, my partner Antonio and everyone in our family up the wall. It can be a nice thing to distract yourself with work until you start to get the signs. Just be sure you aren’t traveling too far away from your hospital or jumping on planes.

3. Having kids is a severe time restriction

This is only partially true. I have found it to be less accurate once I decided to actively manage my life rather than assuming I would “find time” for things.

In a way, having kids forced me to perfect the art of what all extremely successful people do well: maximizing the most valuable resource we have, our time. I have found that I surprise even myself with the resourcefulness I have exhibited.

Examples:

• I’m walking to daycare with one hand on the carriage and another hand dialing prospects on the phone. Guess what? 5:15 PM, after market close, is actually the best time to reach them – because they’re commuting home!

• I’m at the park on Saturday morning pushing my kids on the swings, talking to mothers about insurance and financial planning (back when I was an advisor).

• I am way less willing to take a meeting with someone unless I clearly understand the purpose of the meeting. My goal for all meetings is for them to last only 15 minutes; sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t, but often it is a big time-saver.

• Phone, Skype, Google Hangout, text message, Venmo, PayPal, Calendly: all of these are technologies that I use that have increased free time by orders of magnitude.

I wrote about ways to invest your time better in my article Shoot the Ball.

4. Working moms are not reliable

I have three kids ages four and younger, and I would be wrong to say that I haven’t had my share of last-minute cancellations due to sickness, snow days, school emergencies, etc. But despite all this, there aren’t many people who would describe me as unreliable.

There are certain things I’ve found helpful in combatting the inevitable hiccups that happen when you’re a working mom:

• Get a full roster of babysitters. Just having one or two isn’t enough.

• Schedule important meetings for times when you are more certain you’ll have backup. For example, Antonio’s days off from work are Monday and Tuesdays which means that if one of our kids needs him, he can take care of them. So any time I have to travel, I arrange it for those days so that I don’t have to cancel something important like an event where I’m paid to speak.

• Understand that there are some situations where bringing a child along isn’t the end of the world. Do this strategically with plenty of crayons, coloring books, and even an Elmo DVD or two. Sometimes you get lucky and your kid sleeps through the meeting, other times you have to grin and bear it. Some clients are thrilled to have a (hopefully well-behaved) child tag along, some won’t be – so use discretion.

• Strive to notify people as soon as possible if you have to cancel a meeting. Text messaging is usually the quickest way. Ask people for their cell phones and explain it is for this reason and that you won’t use it to annoy them with other things.

• If you do have to postpone a meeting, make sure that you don’t do it twice with the same person. If so they may begin to wonder about your commitment level.

Dealing with the unexpected is something that nobody, kids or no kids, must cope with as a professional. The more serious and determined you are to ensuring your schedule flows with minimal disruption, the better it will eventually be. It won’t be perfect, but with a little persistence it can be okay.

Sara’s upshot

Having kids has made me a happier, better and more mature person. I think many people feel this same way. Don’t accept the myths that people tell you about how motherhood is an obstacle to your success. If approached strategically, motherhood and maternity will do wonderful things for your career.

If you like my style then I welcome you to please follow my podcast here.

Sara Grillo, CFA, is a top financial writer with a focus on marketing and branding for investment management, financial planning, and RIA firms. Prior to launching her own firm, she was a financial advisor and worked at Lehman Brothers. Sara graduated from Harvard with a degree in English literature and has an MBA from NYU Stern in quantitative finance.

Read more articles by Sara Grillo