Fathers Face a Choice: Stay With Kids or Return to Office?: Conor Sen

When we talk about workers going back to their offices, the goal for most people is to return to the normal routines of life. But there's at least one group of former office-dwellers who are viewing the return as uncharted territory: parents who had their first child during the past 18 months.

The back-to-office reckoning is often simpler for younger, single or childless staff. But new parents are having to figure out for the first time how to manage commuting, long hours away from home and parenting small children. All their experience thus far has been in a work-from-home pandemic world, where family interaction was part of the normal flow of their day. Particularly in the case of new fathers, the pandemic might have spawned a long-overdue cultural shift in how to balance workplace and family life.

Let’s begin this discussion of pandemic child-rearing burdens with the acknowledgment that in the U.S., whenever there's a family crisis it's usually mothers who pick up the slack. During the labor market recovery this year, the labor force participation rate of mothers has lagged behind fathers, in part because of the difficulty in finding affordable childcare. When it comes to mothers, data serves mostly to confirm what we already know to be true: that American work culture isn't particularly family-friendly, generally leaving mothers as the caretakers-of-last-resort in times of need.

What's been less talked about is how the pandemic has changed fathering, particularly in respect to new fathers who don't have a pre-pandemic comparison. In a study from June last year — still early in the Covid era — the Harvard Graduate School of Education found that 68% of fathers felt closer or much closer to their children since the start of the pandemic. Particularly for fathers who have spent a significant portion of time working from home during the pandemic, this makes sense — if you're always around for mealtime, bathtime and bedtime, you're likely going to feel closer to your kids. While fathers may have gone back to work sooner than mothers, Jed Kolko, the chief economist at employment website Indeed.com, notes that on an hours-adjusted basis there isn't the same working gap between fathers and mothers, with both having reduced the number of hours they work by about the same amount since February 2020.